The Story Behind Make Yourself
The amazing Alaskan coaches and participants of the Varsity Prep Camp, 2022
I believe every single person on this planet has the innate ability to make themselves into whoever they want to be.
I feel so strongly about this, because I was once a nobody from a small town on the remote island of Kodiak, Alaska. Like many other kids, it was my dream as a little girl to some day play college basketball, and maybe even professional basketball. At the time, I was one of the best players in my community, but that didn’t mean much at all as I transitioned from a small town high school to college basketball for the University of Alaska Anchorage.
My first year at UAA, I wasn't prepared for the drastic change in level, so I red-shirted.
This means I practiced every day with the team but did not play or travel, and therefore retained that year of eligibility. This was a developmental year through and through. My second year, excited to see all the work from the year prior translate to playing substantial minutes on the court, I was met right away with a bad bout of mono that hospitalized me at the beginning of the year, and wasn’t able to recover quickly enough to come in to the year and make an impact. I played limited minutes the entire season, only being put into the game when we were up by at least 25 points.
At the end of that year, having put in extra time on my own, having gave everything at every practice that I could, having done my best to have a great attitude and be a good teammate; my coach looked me in the eye and told me “If you do not get better, you will not play more than 5 minutes a game next year.”
What an icy, verbal dagger straight to the heart.
Instead of, “This is what you need to work on to get better” or, “Hey we see how hard you’re working; keep at it, it will pay off.”
Getting good is a lonely journey. Many hours alone were spent in the gym.
She was essentially telling me, "Quit. You are not good enough."
As I left her office, I felt devastated. By the time I got to my car in the parking lot, I was angry. By the time I got home, I was ordering a heavy basketball, an agility ladder, and looking up YouTube videos so I could coach myself on how to get better.
That summer, with a chip on my shoulder, I spent an obscene amount of hours in the gym, at the track, in the weight-room, and not eating chocolate. The result? Complete physical and mental transformation.
I avoided the parties all my friends and boyfriend were inviting me to. I stopped eating my favorite summer junk food, because I wanted to lean up.
And most importantly, every day I woke up and reminded myself, that I was going to be the only person who could prove everyone wrong.
I became obsessed with lonely journey of improving myself.
I went to open gyms at 6am with a bunch of older guys, because there were no other options in Kodiak. I would then put a rock in the door, and go back when I knew no one was going to be around, and work on my skills. I would go to the track, and run till it felt like my lungs were bleeding. I went to the local gym to lift weights and get stronger. I read books on how to strengthen my mind, and allowed the mentors in the pages to help my confidence expand since my own coach wasn’t willing to help me.
Senior season with the Seawolves 2 years later… 20+ point game against a Division I opponent at the Great Alaska Shootout. Remember when games were played at the Sullivan Arena?
The next fall came around, and my teammates and coaches were shocked.
The relentless summer of work that I had put in had paid off, and I found myself not just in the starting line up, but as one of the leading scorers and rebounders on the team. Fast forward three years of college and I eventually earned a contract to play professionally in Germany for two years and another to play in Australia. Part of me couldn’t believe it.
Had it not been for the two years of failure and adversity, and my summer of obsessively improving my mindset and habits, I would not have made it.
Playing on my third pro contract with the Logan Thunder in Brisbane, Australia.
It was not an easy road, and I didn't have too many people to help me… so I had to help myself.
This is why I now love coaching and mentoring young athletes.
I understand what it’s like to not know how to do something, and how to figure it out when your back is up against the wall.
I know what it’s like to have a soft mindset, and transform it into an unstoppable mindset. I know how it feels to commit to making myself into who I want to be, and realize how much of that has to be done with a mindset very few people will be able to relate to.
Ultimately, I believe if I could overcome almost career ending adversity and eventually reach some of the highest levels in my sport, anyone can do it. And I want to help show them - YOU - how.
Our most recent camp in Kodiak this past summer. The full circle effect is a great feeling. Beyond grateful to use my experiences to help the younger generations in not just Kodiak, but all across Alaska!
